I’ve been looking at journalism job postings lately, but my boss has nothing to worry about because for most of them, I’m either not qualified (still) or not interested. And some job descriptions sound especially like a level of my personal hell.
If you love sports journalism and have game, pay attention.
Statesman Journal Media is seeking a sports engagement producer to help our organization leverage social tools and technology to create new, innovative forms of digital sports journalism.
First, the words “engagement producer” and “leverage” raise some red flags.
The ideal candidate will be able to follow multiple games, post content quickly, cover events as needed and trigger conversation around sports coverage across the social web. … This person should also be adept at demonstrating effective methods for using social networks to maximize the reporting cycle while contributing to Statesman Journal’s innovative digital initiatives.
The social web? This is quite a lot of bullshit. At least it’s innovative and digital.
Yes, we’re asking for the world. But we’re worth your happiness, particularly if you’re a star. The Statesman Journal has a well-earned national reputation for knowing how to do digital journalism in innovative ways. … Don’t waste our time unless you’re committed to working hard and loving small city life.
This is the job for you if you want to work with small-town assholes who are innovative and digital. How to apply:
Submit a 200-word cover letter, 2-3 clips showing range of work, and a resume to Executive Editor Bill Church at email@example.com. Or impress us with your digital coolness — let’s face it, it’s a job requirement — by Tweeting your online resume link to @BillChurchMedia. (I’m willing to follow you on Twitter if you’re worried about your boss hyperventilating.)
I have so much digital coolness that it’s coming out of my ears. Can I put that on my résumé?